Gunning Down Romance
by Jessica C. Malfoy
Summary: Severus Snape finally realizes what his feelings are for Lily Evans.


Title: Gunning Down Romance 1/1  
  
Author: Jessica C. Malfoy  
  
E-mail: JessicaCMalfoy@aol.com  
  
Rating: PG-13, to be safe  
  
Main Character: Severus Snape  
  
Spoilers: PoA  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Severus Snape or the Harry Potter rights. I also do not own the title, 'Gunning Down Romance', for it belongs to Savage Garden, as well as the song that I'm using. In the end, I end up with nothing, other then the idea.  
  
A/N: Well, my 1st song fic, I am in the club. I've been listening to it non- stop for several days now, and I really like it. As well, I'm working on 'Buried Sorrows', and the likes, I just can't write that today. Who knows, maybe some reviews will help me find my muse again.  
  
  
  
1 Gunning Down Romance  
  
  
  
Love and other moments are just chemical reactions in your brain  
  
And feelings of aggression are the absence of the love drug in  
  
Your veins  
  
In your veins  
  
Love come quickly  
  
Because I can feel my self-esteem is caving in  
  
  
  
Severus Snape, a tall 6th year looked down the corridor, which Lily Evans had just ran through, trying to make it to her next class on time, that or she was looking for that blasted Potter.  
  
'He does not deserve her,' he thought angrily to himself as memories of that couple, fresh memories, emerged from his brain. Them laughing over a joke, pulling a prank, a quick kiss on the cheek, a smile that would make even him weak at the knees..  
  
'If anybody deserves her, its me,' he also added bitterly to himself. 'Nobody here has gone through what I've already been through, losing their parents, finding out that everything that I was told and brought up to be was a complete lie. Nobody, I deserve her. She would be perfect with me.'  
  
It's on the brink  
  
Love come quickly  
  
Because I don't think I can keep this monster in  
  
It's in my skin  
  
  
  
Severus later went down into the corridor that led to the dungeons that was used as the classroom. He needed to think, and he seemed to make the most sense of everything when he was there, with the potions that could cure just about anything if you did it properly.  
  
He wanted Lily. 'Yeah, you and every other male around here,' he thought to himself. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn't all that popular with his housemates, or anybody in general that was around his age. He only seemed to get along with the Professors, and they didn't want to hear some 16-year-old boy complain about his love and social life.  
  
No. He was alone on this. Like he always was, will, and will always be. Alone.  
  
Love and other socially acceptable emotions are morphine  
  
They're morphine  
  
Cleverly concealing primal urges often felt but rarely seen  
  
The next afternoon, he was going to talk to her. Maybe when she realized that she wasn't in love with that Potter, she would go to a friend, and hopefully, that friend would be him.  
  
With a nervous stomach he walked down the Charms corridor, waiting for her to come out of there, so that they could talk. Thankfully he had this as a free period, or who knows when he could talk to her and not be pointed out like an elephant escaping from the zoo.  
  
The bell rang, finally, but it seemed like an eternity before she emerged from the classroom. Her long fiery red hair falling down on her back today, and her bright green eyes that hinted at the mind that she held the power of.  
  
"Uh.. Hey Lily," he stammered out and made himself fit next to her in the flow of students that came out.  
  
"Hi.Um, you are," she slowly said, trying to place him.  
  
"Snape, Severus Snape," he replied and he knew that he should've suspected that.  
  
"Gosh, I'm sorry, I'm just not all here today. What class do you have next?"  
  
"Transfiguration."  
  
"Gosh, I'm really not here today, for I have that next as well. I'm sorry, but.today hasn't been the greatest."  
  
Severus nodded; he had plenty of those days. That should have been his regular, but still the fact that she didn't even know his name..  
  
"Lily! Oy! Fire," called a voice in the back of the pack and Lily turned around immediately. To see Peter, Remus, and Sirius, trying to catch up with her.  
  
"Sirius," she called back and stopped walking, as did Severus.  
  
Rarely seen  
  
Love I beg you  
  
Lift me up into that privileged point of view  
  
The world of two  
  
Severus merely watched as the trio came next to them, and sneered when he saw that Potter wasn't with them.  
  
"Well, isn't it Snake," Sirius sneered.  
  
"I don't know if I should take you serious, Sirius," Severus shot back, eyes narrowing.  
  
Remus cast a look back at Severus. They had all been friends, despite the fact that Severus wasn't in the same house as theirs, but in times like these, they had to learn how to overcome such differences. They had been, up till 3rd year, and then, the ugly truth came out.  
  
"You guys, really. It wasn't like Snape and I were making plans to go snogging in the next corridor," Lily said and looked at the trio.  
  
"It wouldn't surprise me," Peter piped up but clearly shut up real fast at the look that Severus gave him.  
  
Love don't leave me  
  
Because I console myself that Hallmark cards are true  
  
I really do  
  
I'm gunning down romance  
  
It never did a thing for me  
  
But heartache and misery  
  
Ain't nothing but a tragedy  
  
"I'd expect better out of you, Snape," Remus started, "to at least wait till James gets out of the hospital before trying to steal Lily."  
  
"We were just having a nice conversation, if you three even know what that means."  
  
"We do, but you don't. There is a difference between us, Snake and it will always be there. Always."  
  
Lily looked down, things had changed so much over the past 3 years. 4 years ago they were all friends, but the Dark Lord began to rise, and everything changed. Everything.  
  
"Are you sure," Severus replied with a sneer. "I will talk to you later, Lily, without your want-to-be body guards," he said coldly and turned around, his cloak flaring out behind him as he went down the corridor and down a staircase, and then disappeared from sight.  
  
Sirius watched him and narrowed his eyes in dislike, he knew that something was fishy about Snake the day that he met him, and he was right.  
  
Love don't leave me  
  
A week later, Severus and Lily met in the Charms corridor again, but this time, early in the morning.  
  
"What did you want to talk to me about," Lily said a bit tired.  
  
Severus was far from a morning person, but this was the only time that was close by that they could meet without the entire school watching them with interest.  
  
"I wanted to ask you, do you still think of me as a." He left that sentence hanging in mid-air, hoping that she would catch the drift.  
  
Lily looked a bit uncomfortable, "Snape, things have changed. We've all grown up into our own people. I will always cherish the memories we had during our first 3 years together, but the damage has been done."  
  
"You know that I did not do that. I have no say on what my parents did, now, I am left with just breathing bodies that are left of them."  
  
"I know, Snape, but still the fact remains. You know how the Professors go on about how you are intelligent, and you are burying yourself in the Dark Arts, for it's common knowledge."  
  
"Lily, you know that I would never."  
  
"I sure hope you won't, but time has taken its toll. I'm sorry, Severus. I truly am sorry," and with that Lily walked into the Great Hall, leaving a broken hearted Severus Snape in the Charms corridor.  
  
Take these broken wings  
  
I'm going to take these broken wings  
  
And learn to fly  
  
And learn to fly away  
  
And learn to fly away  
  
Severus went straight down to the Potions lab, the one place that he could think of to go for comfort and the place where he could be alone, in peace and mind. Once he got in there, tears that had been denied to fall for so long, fell. Each tear echoing in the silent dungeon. For his family, for his friends, and for Lily.  
  
After a while, he straightened himself out. He had been hurt too many times. Too many times. He put himself on the line, and each time he was thrown down. A new Severus Snape emerged that fateful December morning. One that would join You-Know-Who, and then find out the plans for Lily. His Lily, a year in advance and try his best to save her. To go back to her side. To seek comfort. To save everyone.  
  
Maybe if he knew what would have happened, maybe if Lily knew.  
  
But all the same, a new Severus Snape was born, and the other one was put to rest in the back of his mind.  
  
I'm gunning down romance 


End file.
